They want to substitute at work what to do. How to teach a work colleague a lesson: effective ways that will put anyone in their place. Bosses are different

Irina Davydova

Reading time: 5 minutes

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For many people, work is not only a source of replenishment of the family budget and an anchor of stability, but also a favorite pastime, which is a way of self-expression and brings a certain joy in life. Unfortunately, work is far from always associated only with bright and pleasant emotions: relationships with colleagues can force even a calm person to slam the door.

How to put in place arrogant colleagues?

5 responses to a colleague if he constantly finds fault at work

Does your “comrade” at work vigilantly watches your every step, baselessly finds fault with every little thing, exhausts you with attacks, reproaches and jokes? Do not rush to splash lemonade in the face of the impudent person or send him on a long journey to a known address - first make sure that all cultural methods have been exhausted.

• "Do you want a cup of coffee?" And have a heart to heart chat. You will be surprised, but goodwill sometimes not only discourages the impudent and deprives him of "thorns", but also quickly solves the problem. In the end, adequate adults are always able to find mutual language.
• Be flexible and seek compromise. Even if nothing happens, your conscience will be clear - at least you tried.
• "You have parsley stuck in your teeth." Reduce all attacks to a joke. With a smile, but categorically "move out" from any reproach. And just keep doing your thing. On the principle of "smile and wave." For the 10th time, a colleague will get tired of your reciprocal jokes and “non-action” (the best answer to boors is precisely non-action!) And will find another victim for himself.
• "Your suggestions?". And really - let show and tell. Give the person the opportunity to express himself, and give yourself the opportunity to move on to a normal dialogue with a colleague. Calmly listen to his objections and suggestions. Also calmly agree or, in case of disagreement, arguedly and, again, calmly voice your point of view.
• “And indeed. And how did I not realize? Thanks for noticing! We'll fix it." You don't have to go into the bottle. The most bloodless option is to agree, smile, do as you are asked. Especially if you are wrong, and a colleague is a more experienced person in your work.

5 right steps if a work colleague is following you and reporting to the authorities

Is there a "mishandled Cossack" in your team? And more and more for your soul? If you are an exemplary worker and have a strong habit of keeping your mouth shut, then you don’t have to worry. However, knowing about the rules of conduct with "snitches" does not hurt.

• We place a colleague in an information vacuum. We discuss all important and personal issues only outside of work. Let a comrade starve without food for denunciations. And, of course, we approach our work responsibly. If you come after noon, run away long before the end of the working day, and spend most of your working time in the “smoking room”, then the boss will define you as an indefinite vacation without slanders.
• We act in reverse. We calmly and confidently launch the “disinformation”, and let the scammer warm his long ears and spreads this misinformation throughout the company. The minimum that awaits him is a reprimand from his superiors. The method is radical, and it may well turn out to be a double-edged sword, so choose the material for the "misinformation" very thoroughly.
• "Who is there?". We ignore the colleague himself and his attempts to ruin your life. As for the authorities, there is no need to worry here: no one likes informers. Therefore, do not try to run after a fellow informer to the head and insert your 5 kopecks. Just "sit by the river and wait for the corpse of your enemy to float past you."
• "Well, shall we talk?" A heart-to-heart conversation is a very real solution to the problem. But without superiors and in the presence of witnesses - other colleagues. And preferably, those colleagues who are on your side. In the process of a sincere conversation, you can explain to a colleague that everyone knows about his actions, that no one supports these actions, and that at all times the fate of informers was unenviable (everyone chooses the tone of conversation and epithets to the best of their intelligence). It is worth noting that as a result of such conversations, informers very often realize their mistakes and take the path of correction. The main thing is to convey to the person that in your friendly and strong team with such life “principles” they do not linger for a long time.
• To hell with delicacy, we count the snitch ribs! This is the worst case scenario. He will not increase your "karma" unambiguously. Therefore, emotions are aside, sober thinking and calmness are above all. And even better, humor can help relieve stress. It is humor, not sarcasm and skillfully inserted "hairpins".

In the matter of denunciations, it is always harder than with ordinary rudeness. Ham can, if desired, be pulled over to his side, calmed down, brought to a conversation, turned into a friend from a foe. But as a rule, pride does not allow anyone to be friends with a snitch. Therefore, if a snake has wound up in your friendly team, deprive it of poison immediately.

A colleague is frankly rude - 5 ways to besiege an insolent person

We meet boors everywhere - at home, at work, in transport, etc. But if a bus boor can be ignored and forgotten as soon as you got off at your stop, then a boor colleague is sometimes real problem. After all, you won’t change jobs because of him.

How to besiege an insolent?

• We respond to every boorish attack with a joke. So the nerves will be more whole, and your authority among colleagues will be higher. The main thing is not to cross the line in your jokes. "Below the belt" and black humor is not an option. Don't stoop to the level of a colleague.
• We turn on the voice recorder. As soon as the boor opens his mouth, we take out a voice recorder from our pocket (or turn it on on the phone) and with the words "Wait, wait, I'm recording," we press the record button. No need to scare the boor that you will take this audio collection to the boss, record "For history!" Defiantly and without fail with a smile.
• If a boor asserts himself in this way at your expense, deprive him of such an opportunity. He gets you in time lunch break? Eat at other times. Does it interfere with your workflow? Transfer to another department or work schedule. Is there no such possibility? Ignore attacks and see point 1.
• "Do you want to talk about it?" Every time they try to piss you off, “turn on” your inner psychiatrist. And look at your opponent with the forgiving eyes of a psychiatrist. Specialists never contradict their violent patients. They stroke their heads, smile affectionately and agree with everything the patients say. For especially violent ones - a straitjacket (the camera of the phone will help you, and the entire series of videos on YouTube).
• We grow personally. Take care of yourself - your work, hobbies, growth. With personal growth, all boors, scammers and gossips remain somewhere outside your flight. Like ants underfoot.

5 answers on how to deal with a gossip colleague

Of course, everyone is thrown off balance by false rumors spread behind their backs. At this moment you feel "naked" and betrayed. Especially if the information about you spread at the speed of light is true.

How to behave?

• Pretend that you are not aware of the situation, and continue to work calmly. They argue and stop. As you know, "everything passes", and this too.
• Join the conversation about yourself. With humor and jokes. Take part in the gossip and boldly add a couple of shocking details. Even if the gossip doesn't stop, at least take the pressure off. Further work will be much easier.
• Point out to a colleague specific articles of the Criminal Code on libel which he violates with his gossip. Doesn't understand well? File a suit for the protection of honor and dignity.
• Every day, deliberately and defiantly toss a colleague new theme for gossip. Moreover, the topics should be such that in a week the team is completely tired of them.
• Talk to the boss. If all else fails, then this is the only option left. Just don't rush into your boss's office and do the same thing your colleague does. Calmly turn to your superiors for help, without naming names - let them advise you on how to get out of this situation with honor without harming the general microclimate in the team.

What to do if a colleague at work constantly tries to set you up?

you should not stir up a conflict, you need to try not to substitute, maneuver between all the dirty tricks that your colleague does.

Good day! I think that it is necessary to fight this undoubtedly, but in this case it is not worth making excuses, not complaining. To begin with, I would have talked with a colleague, having previously taken care to record the conversation on a dictaphone. I would speak directly and openly. That they say I know that you are trying in every possible way to set me up in front of the leadership, this is expressed in this and that, why you are doing this and what you are achieving, etc. etc. I would explain to the person that it is not very good to do this and that if there is at least one more such case, then I will be forced to talk to the management. Well, if it does not take action, then I would talk to the management. And again, right. About the fact that a person builds all sorts of intrigues, trying to constantly denigrate me, etc. I would let you listen to the dictaphone recording, if there would be something interesting. That this interferes with the workflow, creates a nervous environment, and if the management does not take action, I will be forced to look for another job. But you can talk about this about everything if you yourself are valued as an employee. Otherwise, the leadership will be up to the light bulb, as they say.

Lysinka, You need to decide on whose side you are - on your side or on the side of a colleague. You feel sorry for him, he is all in loans, take pity on yourself better. This person wants to walk over your head, don't give in. Delicately and tastefully show what it is. Open your boss's eyes. There were very interesting cases described above - from going on vacation to communicating with such people in an official manner, where you can always see when and what information was transmitted. You know, you can’t stand up for yourself with words, you need evidence. If you now put this person in his place, the team will look at you with respect and with caution, and no one will dare to climb up at your expense.

First, figure out the reasons. You should not quarrel with him, anything happens. But if everything was done deliberately, in order to compromise you in front of your boss, then you must, firstly, try to make sure that your work does not depend on him, and, secondly, communicate less with this person, while not letting him out. out of sight. Because the intrigues on his part can continue. Be on your guard.

Talk directly with a colleague, talk about this situation with management, in case of problems at work because of a colleague. And try in every possible way not to succumb to provocations, to be very attentive at work and not to be substituted yourself.

You need to make sure that he does not contact you anymore. Find his sore spot. It is not necessary for everyone to know about it. You have to make sure that only he understands. You can also substitute it, but you need to substitute it gracefully. Think.

Keep a distance from this colleague; do not trust him with anything, neither professional nor personal information; work so as not to get to the bottom; make friends with other colleagues

Ask your boss to delimit your duties, if possible, to outline the scope of work performed. If this cannot be done, then there is only one option - to talk face-to-face with a colleague, try to find a compromise, if it is not possible to find out and eliminate the cause of the set-up - then just try to work ahead of the competitor so that the set-up no longer affects the completed task. And explanations are not needed. The main thing for Bos is the result, but someone who set him up will not be interested

You just need to take it and put it on. Or try not to fall for his cunning ideas, and, over time, he himself will suffer from them.

I had one such colleague. Constantly tried to set me up in almost everything. For example, I could start making a report only when she gives me the data. She kept dragging it out all the time, giving incorrect information. And the authorities assured me that they handed everything over to me or was surprisedquot ; that they didn’t understand at all why I didn’t ask for this data. Trying to just talk to her was unsuccessful. Complaining is also pointless. It's just that I began to ask the non-information either in writing, through the reception, or by e-mail to keep track of the date and time. Well, she began to negotiate with her only in the presence of her superiors. Helped. Now she doesn't work for us.

Apparently, Providence sent you such a person to raise the level of your professional skills to such a level that no one, ever, could find fault with anything in your work.

If you are sure that you are right, then make his unfair nit-picking the property of the entire team.

Do not make excuses and do not complain - only openness and publicity.

Only concrete facts.

Let the collective know the true essence of this person.

If you want specific help - write in a personal, I will try to help with more specific advice.

Talk to your boss if you are with him good relations and explain the whole situation, if this does not help, you need to act!!!

I had a case when one employee put me in a not very good light in front of the boss ... well, he joked, somehow offended me. He shoved all his work to me. I'm tired of this!!! I decided to do something to get him fired!

When he was sitting on the Internet doing nothing, I mentioned this to the boss.

He didn't have a job. And when I went on vacation, without me, he could not do anything ... because. does not know the 1s program and he did not have it. In general, without me, he is zero.

The boss saw this and raised the question of dismissal. Karoch fired him! my happiness knew no bounds! Everyone thinks that thanks to me he was fired.

If you want, you can try hard to get the unwanted employee fired!

do not pay attention. everyone substitutes everyone. only some do it subtly and imperceptibly, others do it as best they can. the ancient Romans noticed and said - man is a wolf to man. work so that the mosquito does not undermine the nose. and the substitutes will be disarmed.

Put on a mask and in the evening give him a hump!

A colleague at work spreads gossip about you, tries to set managers and colleagues against you, does not hide his joy at any of your misses, mistakes. This is very unpleasant. The first impulse in such a situation is to frankly express to the ill-wisher everything that you think about him. But this is the wrong decision. Almost certainly, then you will appear in the eyes of colleagues and superiors as an ill-mannered and unrestrained brawler, and your enemy - an innocent victim.

You can be sure that he wants to provoke you with his behavior. Do not follow his lead, do not let him be happy.

Therefore, keep your composure and endurance, although it is very difficult. You can take revenge on the enemy in a different way, more subtly.

As a rule, the motive for the actions of your ill-wisher is either envy (for example, if you are smarter, more talented, move faster than him career ladder), or the fear that you can “push” him into the background, deprive him of prospects. So if you really want to hurt your enemy, do exactly what deprives him of . That is, continue to demonstrate your superiority by more successfully solving official tasks, achieving best results. Flawlessly observe labor discipline, do not be distracted by extraneous matters, so as not to give the authorities any reason for nit-picking. And with your enemy, behave emphatically, even defiantly, politely, ignoring all his attempts to provoke you.

The more advantageous you look against his background, the more painful your revenge will be.

You can resort to more sophisticated methods of revenge. For example, in response to his snarky jokes, respond with feigned sympathy: “You must be very unlucky in your personal life ...”, or “Are you so angry because you still haven’t received a promotion? No need to worry so much, in ten years it will surely happen! The rules of good manners are observed, there is nothing to complain about, and for your enemy such words are like a slap in the face.

If your enemy has crossed all boundaries, you can act according to the rule "Beat the enemy with his own weapon." Try to collect more information about him, find out where his “weak spot” is and strike at him (again, without resorting to insults, increased tone). At first glance, this may not seem like a very worthy act, but your ill-wisher is to blame himself, you did not touch him first. Often there is a person in the team who collects gossip. You can tell him about your ill-wisher, for example, about some fact from life. The gossip man will embellish the information received, as a result, it will reach the ill-wisher in a distorted form. He will be very uncomfortable.

If your colleague is trying to offend you with silly sayings, turn everything into a joke. He wants to make you nervous. Do not fall for his provocations. It is better to answer him that you are not offended by stupid words. It is quite possible that after these words he will no longer be sarcastic towards you.

Ideally, you should maintain smooth and friendly relations with all employees in the team. However, this is not always possible. People are different, one of them treats you well, while the other can do harm. If you were set up at work, it is insulting and extremely unpleasant, but first of all, you need to minimize the consequences.

If you were set up at work, what to do?

You were framed - a conversation with the boss

The boss calls you to his office and defiantly puts before you a report with errors or a summary of real data that differs markedly from those indicated by you, and you understand that you don’t know where these papers came from, yesterday they looked like -other. It doesn't matter if you suspected that cunning colleagues were going to harm you, or if it really came as a surprise to you, be surprised. Throw up your hands and say that all this is a misunderstanding, the correct report is saved on your computer, and the accountant submitted other information yesterday - here is the paper, seal and signature. Don't yell about being set up and don't point your fingers at your co-workers. A smart leader will come to this conclusion himself. If he asks about your detractors, you can delicately speculate (which you yourself will be sure of) about who could have done this.

Don't give the names of people you suspect of setting you up unless you're sure of it. If you make a mistake, you will be ashamed

Work will not go to Fedot

You are not to blame for the fact that you were set up, but if you did not grab the ill-wisher by the hand, you still have to correct the mistakes. Try to do it as quickly as possible, without moaning about cunning colleagues and without complaining to clients and bosses. The people involved in this story will appreciate both your professionalism and personal qualities.

How to deal with the person who set you up

You may know who set you up, but it is not certain that the boss will decide to fire this person. It is likely that you will continue to work with him in the same company and even in the same office. Despite all your anger and resentment, don't fight. Best of all, do not pay any attention to the colleague who has sat you down - do not help him, do not communicate with him, do not offer to familiarize yourself with the new report form, let someone else do it, do not share sugar with him.

Hello. My name is Anna, I am 32 years old. Please help me get out of this situation. I have been working in a private company as a chief accountant for a year and a half. The working team is female, I am the chief accountant, personnel department for 27 years. and deputy director for 49 years. At first it was very difficult to find a common language with everyone, but everything seemed to work out. Before me, the current deputy worked as the chief accountant. director. Working days are positive. Morning at the deputy director begins with the Internet and browsing entertainment sites. At first, it annoyed me, I asked myself the question: "How is it possible?" But then she calmed down and stopped paying attention. She also resigned herself to the fact that to any of my questions when it was necessary to make some important decision, she answered - "You are the chief accountant, you you are responsible I want to explain a small nuance, we all report to the direct director who is in another city and all communication takes place only through a deputy. I think about making an important decision, I find acceptable options, I offer them to the deputy director, she agrees and then , after a while, a call to the director, which especially offends me, IN MY PRESENCE, and explains to him the acceptable solutions to the problems I found with the words: "Here, I didn’t sleep at night, I thought, and came up with such an option .....". All nothing, but the director said that wage will rise only from those who will take the initiative, and it turns out that the initiative comes only from the deputy and no one else works. Recently, she sets me up very much, but I have not only interpersonal relationships, but since I work as a chief accountant, she sets me up very much in financial plan and correct reporting. If the amount of taxes payable is large, she tells the director that I did not calculate them correctly, that I did not tell her that the amount would be this, although this is not so, she knew about it. Naturally, I am not silent and prove my case, but it turns out worse. The director does not want to listen to me, he blindly believes and trusts the deputy. I could leave this firm, but it's not for me. If I leave simply and silently, she won. But I can’t do that, I just need to prove my case and leave with my head held high. Although I stop myself from the war, because I know that it will be worse for me and there will be big problems. I'm confused. What to do? Continue the war, or bow your head meekly and let me continue to ride? The most a big problem in how to remove rose-colored glasses from the director. I tried to meet him, call him for a conversation, but to no avail. My victory will be if I can still open his eyes to everything that is happening and how he is being deceived and misled.

Psychologists Answers

Hello Anna!

My victory will be if I still manage to open his eyes to everything that happens to how he is deceived and misled.

No, Anna, it's not. While you will be playing with your deputy. director into the game: whoever the authorities like more, you will lose, simply because you play it. It’s better to just do your job with pleasure, get decent money for it and not prove anything to anyone. If you are responsible, then you are responsible. If not, then you have a bad director. Either you agree with the incorrect rules, or change the rules, or look for another job. Your victory will be to achieve inner peace and self-confidence, but this is possible in a completely different game.
Sincerely

Chvalun Evgeny Viktorovich, psychologist Ryazan

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Anna, if you want to prove something at work, you must understand that neither words nor emotions can be worthy evidence. Only documented evidence can change anything. And then, only if the director wants to change something. After all, you forget that everything suits him. It matters to you who is right and who is wrong. For him, it is important that the work process goes on and his company earns money. Moreover, he has known the deputy for a long time, and you, as an employee, are still young.

Do you want to prove something? document. Are there big taxes? Write a memorandum addressed to the deputy and the director. Did you come up with solutions? Write a certificate addressed to the deputy and the director. Not to complain about the deputy, look for a meeting with the director, but in order to take from him email address, to which, with his consent, you will send your job offers.

Also think about how to document yourself to protect yourself from financial fraud. If that's not possible, leave. After all, while you are just offended by such injustice and want to win, you can get big money. Do you need it? Decide not from the point of view of resentment, but from the point of view of safety. You Chief Accountant, so take into account the specifics of your work: you can work calmly or the fear of a setup is justified.

Attention to you.

Naumenko Galina Grigorievna, psychologist Gomel

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